1 00:00:03,474 --> 00:00:05,775 Oh, my God, this heat! 2 00:00:05,776 --> 00:00:08,208 When is Jim gonna be done fixing the air conditioner? 3 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,140 Oh, soon, I hope. 4 00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:12,012 Mommy, is this what hell is like? 5 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,746 No, honey, there's no popsicles there. 6 00:00:17,548 --> 00:00:20,251 Oh, man, whew! 7 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,657 All right. 8 00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:31,761 No worries. The AC is fixed. We're in business. 9 00:00:31,762 --> 00:00:33,403 Oh! GIRLS: Yay! 10 00:00:33,404 --> 00:00:35,035 Get ready to be cool. 11 00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:38,438 Here we go. 12 00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,039 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 13 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,441 Oh, damn circuit breaker. 14 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,644 Oh, no, Jim, fix it. 15 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,146 God, somebody light a fire. 16 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,648 Maybe the flames will create a breeze. 17 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,721 Come on. Can't we just get a new air conditioning unit? 18 00:00:51,722 --> 00:00:54,084 Yes, why don't we? And while we're at it, 19 00:00:54,085 --> 00:00:55,445 why don't we get a brand new house? 20 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,728 Can we live by the lake? 21 00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:01,091 Yes, and we'll have a butler, 22 00:01:01,092 --> 00:01:03,633 and you'll ride dolphins to school. 23 00:01:03,634 --> 00:01:06,166 BOTH: Yay! 24 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,268 All right, you know what? I'm starting to get worried. 25 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,371 These girls should be getting sarcasm by now. 26 00:01:11,502 --> 00:01:13,173 Okay, you guys, plan B. 27 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,704 Let's all head over to my house. 28 00:01:14,705 --> 00:01:17,507 I got a brand new AC unit, four zones. Oh. 29 00:01:17,508 --> 00:01:18,608 You could hang meat in there. 30 00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:20,351 Uh, plan C. 31 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,255 I took parts out of yours to fix mine. 32 00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,658 And they, uh, kind of melted. 33 00:01:28,659 --> 00:01:30,360 Oh! 34 00:01:30,361 --> 00:01:32,862 That's funny, you know, they're not interchangeable. 35 00:01:32,863 --> 00:01:34,324 Well, no harm, no foul. 36 00:01:34,325 --> 00:01:37,468 No, no, no, Jim, giant, stinky foul. 37 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,431 I need my central air. I'm a husky guy. 38 00:01:41,432 --> 00:01:43,303 I chafe. 39 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,734 You guys are a bunch of wimps. 40 00:01:44,735 --> 00:01:47,507 In my day, air conditioning was jumping on the family car, 41 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,880 holding on to the luggage rack, and ducking for bridges. 42 00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,512 Oh, that's right. 43 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,414 I forgot about your summer vacations with the Flintstones. 44 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,216 Oh, come on. 45 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,547 All right. I can't take it anymore. 46 00:01:57,548 --> 00:01:59,118 I'm going back to my neighborhood, 47 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,239 where at least the guys dressed like that are in love. 48 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,723 (DOOR OPENS) 49 00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:04,555 (DOOR CLOSES) 50 00:02:08,559 --> 00:02:09,829 You do look kind of gay. 51 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,202 Me? Look at you! 52 00:02:12,203 --> 00:02:14,265 Get out! Get out of here! 53 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,274 (INAUDIBLE) 54 00:02:25,676 --> 00:02:27,178 JIM: Oh, baby! 55 00:02:30,621 --> 00:02:31,622 (SNORTING) 56 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,155 (SIGHING) 57 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,297 (EXHALES) 58 00:02:48,239 --> 00:02:51,801 Oh, Jim, this is ridiculous. 59 00:02:51,802 --> 00:02:53,473 I haven't slept in three days. 60 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,545 Come on, you got to take us to a hotel or something. 61 00:02:55,546 --> 00:02:57,307 (JIM WHOOPING) Jim? 62 00:02:57,308 --> 00:02:58,508 (WATER SPLASHING) 63 00:02:58,509 --> 00:02:59,880 (JIM EXCLAIMS) 64 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,814 (GASPS) No, no, no, no, no, no! 65 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:06,887 JIM: Whoo-hoo! 66 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,522 Jim, what are you doing? 67 00:03:12,523 --> 00:03:14,424 I'm doing the backstroke. 68 00:03:14,425 --> 00:03:16,466 Want to see my butterfly? 69 00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:19,929 No. Get out of there. That's not our pool. 70 00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:22,772 Come on, the Egans are gone for at least a week. 71 00:03:22,773 --> 00:03:23,973 It's the least they can do. 72 00:03:23,974 --> 00:03:25,335 We're picking up their mail. 73 00:03:25,336 --> 00:03:27,707 We? I'm bringing in their mail. 74 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,279 The only thing you ever did for them 75 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,641 is hose off their house after you threw an egg at it. 76 00:03:31,642 --> 00:03:33,743 I did not throw an egg at their house. 77 00:03:33,744 --> 00:03:35,745 I threw it at the wind chimes 78 00:03:35,746 --> 00:03:39,389 'cause those gentle tones were really pissing me off! 79 00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:41,220 Lois and Dutch asked me to bring in their mail 80 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,223 because I have a reputation as a very reliable person. 81 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,627 Yes, and I am the neighborhood scamp. 82 00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:48,499 Care to join me? 83 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:50,830 Come on. 84 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,502 The Egans never said we could use their pool. 85 00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:54,664 They never said we couldn't. 86 00:03:54,665 --> 00:03:56,766 Look, if they knew how hot it was, 87 00:03:56,767 --> 00:04:00,270 they would've insisted that we swim. 88 00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:01,841 You know what a great guy Butch is. 89 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,373 Dutch. 90 00:04:03,374 --> 00:04:04,974 Butch, Dutch. 91 00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:07,517 I don't know, those Irish names all sound alike to me. 92 00:04:07,518 --> 00:04:08,549 (SIGHS) 93 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,321 Care to join me? 94 00:04:11,322 --> 00:04:12,523 Jump in. 95 00:04:13,023 --> 00:04:15,386 (GASPS) Oh. 96 00:04:16,527 --> 00:04:19,258 Yeah. Refreshing, huh? 97 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,761 Oh. Your body will thank you, 98 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:26,296 and then I'll thank you, if you know what I'm saying. 99 00:04:26,297 --> 00:04:28,538 I always know what you're saying. 100 00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:30,970 Come on, we're not hurting anybody. 101 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,603 I don't want anything to do with this. This is wrong. 102 00:04:33,604 --> 00:04:35,445 That's what makes it so right. 103 00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:36,876 (GASPS) 104 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,810 (EXCLAIMS) That feels so cool. 105 00:04:41,912 --> 00:04:43,383 You know what else feels cool? 106 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,054 Doing the right thing. Oh. 107 00:04:45,055 --> 00:04:47,056 Which is why I'm going home and going to bed, 108 00:04:47,057 --> 00:04:49,759 which is exactly what you should do. 109 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,521 JIM: Cheryl, telegram. 110 00:04:51,522 --> 00:04:53,463 Oh! 111 00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,396 Told you I'm the neighborhood scamp. 112 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,704 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 113 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:08,508 Who wants medium rare? I got medium here. 114 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:09,839 Hey, give me that, come on. 115 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,012 Here, come on, take it. That's it, oh! 116 00:05:12,943 --> 00:05:15,885 (JIM LAUGHING) 117 00:05:15,886 --> 00:05:17,016 Here you go, Joey. (TURNS OFF MUSIC) 118 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,988 Hey! What's with the music? 119 00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:21,651 Hey, Cheryl, come on in. We got shrimp. 120 00:05:21,652 --> 00:05:22,952 Hit me high, baby. 121 00:05:22,953 --> 00:05:25,324 This is fun. 122 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,698 I feel just like a trainer at SeaWorld. 123 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:30,731 Hmm, tail. 124 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,665 What is going on here? 125 00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:37,807 What? What do you mean? It's a pool party. 126 00:05:37,808 --> 00:05:39,739 Hey, get ready to jump onto my shoulders. 127 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,371 We're gonna have chicken fights in 10 minutes. 128 00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:42,742 No! 129 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,515 No, all these people have got to get out. 130 00:05:45,516 --> 00:05:47,877 Cheryl, why would you have a pool 131 00:05:47,878 --> 00:05:49,949 if you weren't going to invite your friends? 132 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,551 Because it's not your pool. 133 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,383 Oh, please. 134 00:05:53,384 --> 00:05:55,354 Hey, Cheryl, do the Egans get Vanity Fair? 135 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,126 I already read their InStyle. 136 00:05:57,127 --> 00:05:58,558 And credit card statement. 137 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,391 Boy, can they suck down the hooch. 138 00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:03,463 This is totally out of control. 139 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,994 What? Where are you getting that from? 140 00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:06,536 Hey, hey, who ordered a keg? 141 00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:09,469 Right here. Uh, yeah, that's the keg. 142 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,402 Put it over by the ping-pong table. Thanks. 143 00:06:12,403 --> 00:06:14,674 Hey, you'll have a draft. You'll love it. 144 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:15,845 Here's your soda. 145 00:06:15,846 --> 00:06:17,607 Wait, where'd you get those? 146 00:06:17,608 --> 00:06:20,580 In the house. We crawled through the doggy door. 147 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:24,654 All right, everybody, listen up! This stops now! 148 00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:25,816 (SILENCE) 149 00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:30,760 (CHATTERING RESUMES) 150 00:06:30,761 --> 00:06:33,162 You are too much! 151 00:06:33,163 --> 00:06:35,665 Cheryl, you got to loosen up, man. 152 00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:37,026 Really, don't worry about it. 153 00:06:37,027 --> 00:06:39,969 We'll clean up and replace everything we use. 154 00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:41,931 Hey, Cheryl, could you do my back? 155 00:06:41,932 --> 00:06:44,103 Jim, that's not even the point. 156 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,105 I mean, what are you teaching the girls? 157 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,438 How are they gonna learn respect for other people's property? 158 00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:50,580 Oh, will you get out? 159 00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:53,443 Cheryl, the girls aren't gonna remember this. 160 00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:55,445 They're kids, they're stupid. 161 00:06:55,446 --> 00:06:57,787 They don't even know what I do for a living. 162 00:06:57,788 --> 00:06:59,849 Yeah, come on, let them have fun. 163 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:01,120 Let us have fun. 164 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,892 Either come in and swim or go home. 165 00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:03,953 Yeah. 166 00:07:03,954 --> 00:07:05,154 BOTH: Cannonball! 167 00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:06,556 (SCREAMING) 168 00:07:06,557 --> 00:07:08,058 (ALL LAUGHING) 169 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,861 Oh, come on, Commissioner Fun Kill, 170 00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:13,803 lighten up. Have some fun. 171 00:07:13,804 --> 00:07:16,967 Put the badge in the drawer for the day, will you? 172 00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:22,011 Look at me. I'm a movie star. 173 00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:23,614 And I'm her sister, Ruby. 174 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,116 Wait, that's Lois Egan's mink stole. 175 00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:29,849 I didn't tell them they could do that. 176 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,482 You didn't tell us we couldn't. 177 00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:35,956 And they're not influenced by any of this, huh? 178 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,158 (SIGHS) All right. 179 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,190 I get it. Girls, go on. 180 00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:42,932 Go back in the house. Put it back. 181 00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:44,163 Put it back, come on. Hurry up. 182 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,935 Thank you. 183 00:07:45,936 --> 00:07:48,167 All right, everybody, out of the pool. 184 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,500 Let's go. Let's go, everybody out. 185 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,601 (ALL MURMURING IN DISAPPOINTMENT) 186 00:07:51,602 --> 00:07:53,643 Hey, how about one chicken fight 187 00:07:53,644 --> 00:07:55,806 while they're in the house? No! No! 188 00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:08,658 Oh, damn, 95 degrees at 7:30 in the morning. 189 00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:10,189 Oh! 190 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,491 Who wants a hug? 191 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,723 Ew! 192 00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:14,894 (GROANS) 193 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,727 You. Back off. 194 00:08:17,728 --> 00:08:20,670 You know, as soon as the kids go to school, 195 00:08:20,671 --> 00:08:22,501 we can sneak off to the Egans' pool. 196 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,734 Nobody is going in that pool. Forget it. 197 00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:26,876 Cheryl, that's the whole reason I came over here. 198 00:08:26,877 --> 00:08:28,137 Well, I'm sorry. 199 00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:30,240 (GASPS) Ooh, oh, oh. 200 00:08:31,842 --> 00:08:33,143 Ah! 201 00:08:33,984 --> 00:08:35,285 Refreshing. 202 00:08:38,248 --> 00:08:40,290 And the cold cuts the funk. 203 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,722 Oh, that's disgusting. 204 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,825 Yeah, that's my shirt. 205 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,028 Please, it never looked this good on you. 206 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:53,532 You don't have a tenth of the bod I have. 207 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,866 I have exactly a tenth of the bod you have. 208 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,909 All right, all right. 209 00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:02,942 On that note, I'm going over to water the Egans' plants. 210 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,944 I hope you guys cleaned up after your party. 211 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,716 They'll never know we were there. 212 00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:10,750 Oh, yeah, the pool house toilet just backed itself up. 213 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:14,223 All right, I found the part for the air conditioner. 214 00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:15,985 Hey! (WOMEN EXCLAIMING) 215 00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:17,556 They put it on a boat from Thailand. 216 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,928 It'll be here in less than a month. 217 00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,630 ALL: No! 218 00:09:20,631 --> 00:09:24,563 Oh, gee, if only there was some alternate way 219 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,195 that we could cool off. 220 00:09:26,196 --> 00:09:30,069 Wouldn't it be great if the answer was as close as next door? 221 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,241 Do you mean a rectangular answer 222 00:09:32,242 --> 00:09:34,804 filled with shimmering liquid relief? 223 00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,575 Yeah. 224 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,248 No, no, no, no, don't even think about it. 225 00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:40,650 I don't care how hot it gets, 226 00:09:40,651 --> 00:09:41,981 nobody is going in that pool. 227 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,883 Oh. Oh. 228 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,786 Well, I'm sorry, but somebody has to be the grown-up around here. 229 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,818 Hey, Cheryl, is it any cooler up there? 230 00:09:48,819 --> 00:09:50,089 Where? On your high horse. 231 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,591 (LAUGHING) Very good. 232 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,164 Girls, did Daddy talk to you about yesterday? 233 00:09:55,165 --> 00:09:57,997 Of course I did. I'm a grown-up, too. 234 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,229 Go ahead, tell Mommy what I taught you. Go on. 235 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,731 We always have to have permission 236 00:10:01,732 --> 00:10:03,673 to use other people's stuff. That's right. 237 00:10:03,674 --> 00:10:05,034 Even if it's really, really hot, 238 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,877 and they would never, ever find out. 239 00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:10,680 Pretty grown-up, huh? Proud of you girls. 240 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:12,712 Okay, here, go turn on Daddy's truck 241 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,214 and get the air conditioner going. 242 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,647 Well, looks like it's time for the Andyman 243 00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:19,289 to get a short-cicle. 244 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,795 Oh, okay, no, no, no. 245 00:10:34,164 --> 00:10:35,735 (IMITATING ANDY) "Yeah, sure we cleaned everything up. 246 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,636 "They'll never know we were here." 247 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,839 Jackass. 248 00:11:32,222 --> 00:11:34,424 Oh, yeah, Mama like! 249 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,371 JIM: All right, girls, come on. 250 00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:45,104 We're gonna go to an air conditioned movie theater 251 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:49,208 because someone wouldn't let us use the P-O-O-L. 252 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,841 Daddy, we know that spells "pool." 253 00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:55,344 And you are the smartest girl in the whole world. 254 00:11:55,345 --> 00:11:57,387 Ooh, that's sarcasm, right? 255 00:12:01,151 --> 00:12:04,253 Very good. I like these girls. 256 00:12:04,254 --> 00:12:05,394 You sure you don't want to join us? 257 00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:06,796 No, no, honey, I'd love to, 258 00:12:06,797 --> 00:12:08,057 but I've got so much work to do. 259 00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:10,059 So, you guys have fun. All right. 260 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,931 Sweat it off. I'll be here, you know, working. 261 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,103 (LAUGHS) 262 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,838 (SCATTING) 263 00:12:26,877 --> 00:12:27,948 Where you going? 264 00:12:28,819 --> 00:12:31,250 Oh, um... 265 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,223 (STUTTERING) I was just gonna put this swim stuff in the garage 266 00:12:34,224 --> 00:12:36,887 'cause you know Jim. No willpower. 267 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,990 Garage is that way. 268 00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:42,762 I know. 269 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,137 You need a sun hat to put swim stuff away? 270 00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,238 Well... 271 00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:51,100 And a swimsuit? 272 00:12:51,101 --> 00:12:52,402 And a wax? 273 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,405 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 274 00:12:56,406 --> 00:12:58,007 Is that sunscreen? 275 00:12:58,008 --> 00:12:59,208 Oh, um... 276 00:12:59,209 --> 00:13:01,550 Wait a minute. 277 00:13:01,551 --> 00:13:04,453 You are going over to swim at the Egans' pool. 278 00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:05,485 Oh! (STUTTERS) 279 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,890 (SIGHS) Screw it. It's too hot to lie. 280 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,962 Yes, I'm going swimming because I'm the oldest, 281 00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:14,964 and I can do whatever I want. Happy? 282 00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:18,327 No, Cheryl, no, I'm not happy. 283 00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:19,568 Not happy about the example 284 00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:22,471 you're setting for our nieces and nephew. 285 00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:24,304 They deserve better. 286 00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:30,009 All right, well, you can stand there in sweaty judgment of me, 287 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,481 or we can all go swimming. 288 00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:33,582 Great! 289 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:36,115 We're wearing our swimsuits already. 290 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,586 And we waxed. Yeah. 291 00:13:37,587 --> 00:13:40,819 Oh. But not a word to Jim. 292 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,591 Hey, you don't bring up the wax, 293 00:13:42,592 --> 00:13:43,894 we won't bring up the swim. 294 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,431 Oh. Oh! 295 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:56,936 Andy, you're late again. That's three days in a row. Where you been? 296 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,267 Oh, here and there. 297 00:13:58,268 --> 00:13:59,508 What you been doing? 298 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:01,440 Oh, this and that. 299 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,072 (SNIFFING) 300 00:14:03,073 --> 00:14:05,074 What's that funny smell? 301 00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:07,216 Jim, it's 100 degrees outside. 302 00:14:07,217 --> 00:14:09,950 And my funny smells are just beginning. 303 00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:12,622 What's with your eyes? 304 00:14:13,283 --> 00:14:14,954 Uh, nothing. 305 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,385 Baby blue, just... Just like always. 306 00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,287 No, no, no. 307 00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:19,929 No, no, no, they're all bloodshot. 308 00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:22,091 You've been late for three days. What's going on here? 309 00:14:22,092 --> 00:14:26,235 All right, Jim, you were gonna find out sooner or later. 310 00:14:26,236 --> 00:14:28,338 I've been drinking my breakfast. 311 00:14:29,439 --> 00:14:32,272 No, that doesn't smell like alcohol. 312 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,103 Smells like... 313 00:14:34,104 --> 00:14:36,106 (SNIFFING) Chlorine. 314 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,279 Yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad, Jim. 315 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:44,914 Uh, I... I've been drinking chlorine. 316 00:14:44,915 --> 00:14:47,656 Friend of mine, he turned me on to it. 317 00:14:47,657 --> 00:14:50,190 You know, you can't stop once you... 318 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,591 Andy. 319 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,665 Fine, I've been swimming down at the Egans' pool. 320 00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:01,430 Alone? 321 00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:04,003 No, no, but it... It's not my fault, Jim. 322 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,135 Somebody made me do it. 323 00:15:06,136 --> 00:15:08,277 She threatened me not to tell. 324 00:15:08,278 --> 00:15:10,680 It's one of my sisters, and you're sleeping with her. 325 00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,144 Cheryl? 326 00:15:15,545 --> 00:15:16,686 Why was that a question? 327 00:15:29,499 --> 00:15:31,230 JIM: Honey, I'm home. 328 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,432 (GASPING) 329 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,341 Hey. Hey. 330 00:15:42,712 --> 00:15:44,013 Well, what are you doing here? 331 00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:45,174 You're supposed to be at work. 332 00:15:45,175 --> 00:15:48,047 I know, I just kind of wanted to hang out at home 333 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,548 and be with you. Oh! 334 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:53,222 Just you and me together all day. 335 00:15:53,223 --> 00:15:54,985 All day? Mmm-hmm. 336 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,387 Well, won't that be fun? 337 00:15:58,388 --> 00:15:59,629 Uh-huh. 338 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,961 Wait! 339 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,434 That's not man's work. 340 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,641 You know what would make this day extra special? 341 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,273 Hmm? 342 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,045 If you went and picked up lunch at Stevie B's. 343 00:16:16,046 --> 00:16:17,606 Stevie B's ribs? 344 00:16:17,607 --> 00:16:19,549 Oh, you know how I like all-meat meals. 345 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,281 All right. But you know what? 346 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,683 Stevie B's is all the way across town. 347 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,015 It's gonna take me at least an hour 348 00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:27,186 to go there and come back. 349 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,618 I'm good with that. 350 00:16:29,619 --> 00:16:31,060 Oh, well... 351 00:16:31,061 --> 00:16:33,422 I mean... I mean, honey, 352 00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:37,096 every second away from you is an eternity. 353 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,698 But a special lunch like that 354 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:43,502 would certainly deserve a special dessert, 355 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,235 if you know what I'm saying. 356 00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:48,508 I always know what you're saying. 357 00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:51,481 Sex, right? 358 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,483 Okay. 359 00:16:54,484 --> 00:16:56,316 Yes! To Stevie B's! 360 00:17:03,593 --> 00:17:04,794 (GASPING) 361 00:17:07,357 --> 00:17:09,328 Cheryl? Oh! 362 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,060 Oh, I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to scare you. 363 00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:12,131 No, no. 364 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,103 I... I just forgot to ask you, 365 00:17:14,104 --> 00:17:16,205 do you want spicy or mild barbecue sauce on your ribs? 366 00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:19,339 Oh, I don't care. You know, whatever takes longer. 367 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,112 I got you. 368 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,144 Oh, what are you looking for? 369 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,375 Oh, nothing. 370 00:17:26,376 --> 00:17:28,117 Nothing, huh? Are you sure? 371 00:17:28,118 --> 00:17:29,648 Mmm-hmm. Hmm. 372 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,481 You think it could be this? 373 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,186 No. 374 00:17:41,531 --> 00:17:43,533 Jim, Jim, it's not funny. 375 00:17:46,636 --> 00:17:48,337 It's funny to me. 376 00:17:48,338 --> 00:17:50,600 But, of course, I'm not the grown-up here. 377 00:17:54,544 --> 00:17:55,774 Are you through? 378 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,477 Everything except for my evil laugh. 379 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,550 (LAUGHS EVILLY) 380 00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,613 Jim, you're burning daylight! 381 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,385 The Egans are gonna be home tonight. 382 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,087 Come on, I just need one more swim. 383 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,259 One more swim? Just one more. 384 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,660 Just one more swim? 385 00:18:11,661 --> 00:18:14,123 And then what? Another pool and then another? 386 00:18:14,124 --> 00:18:16,365 When's it gonna end, Cheryl? 387 00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:19,599 Tell me. Admit it, you're out of control. 388 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:26,206 Oh, my God, Jim, you're right. 389 00:18:27,237 --> 00:18:28,608 You're right. 390 00:18:29,639 --> 00:18:30,780 I don't deserve you. 391 00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:33,442 (SNIFFLES) 392 00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:34,743 Would you hold me? 393 00:18:34,744 --> 00:18:36,485 Come here, baby. 394 00:18:36,486 --> 00:18:38,148 (CRYING) Ha! 395 00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:43,752 I'm going over there, 396 00:18:43,753 --> 00:18:45,524 and there's nothing you can do to stop me! 397 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,895 All right. 398 00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:48,227 I mean it! 399 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,698 Fine, go ahead. Have fun. 400 00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:51,601 I will! Go on. 401 00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:57,467 Oh, man. 402 00:18:58,308 --> 00:19:00,369 (SIGHS) 403 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:02,341 If you're okay with this, it must be really bad. 404 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,513 (LAUGHS) 405 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,516 Jim, what am I doing? 406 00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,178 I... I can't stop going to that pool. 407 00:19:09,179 --> 00:19:10,319 I am out of control. 408 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,321 Oh, come on, Cheryl. Jim... 409 00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:13,722 I murdered a floaty froggy 410 00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:16,755 and hid the body in the dishwasher. 411 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,728 You are out of control, and you want to know why? 412 00:19:19,729 --> 00:19:21,930 'Cause I'm awful? Yes. 413 00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:24,733 You are awful at being bad. 414 00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:26,595 You're too perfect. 415 00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:29,668 Look, you've got to be a little bad once in a while. 416 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,470 Look what it did for me. I mean, look at me. 417 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,071 Look how much younger I look than my age. 418 00:19:35,305 --> 00:19:37,776 Jim, we can't just tell the kids, 419 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,178 "It's okay to be a little bad once in a while." 420 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,710 Of course not. Right. 421 00:19:41,711 --> 00:19:42,831 We don't tell them anything. 422 00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:46,385 That's the great thing about being parents. 423 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:47,486 You can do whatever you want 424 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,459 as long as you got a good cover story. 425 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,661 That's not in any of the books I read. 426 00:19:52,662 --> 00:19:56,765 Of course not. You read those parent books. 427 00:19:56,766 --> 00:19:59,299 Did you take the day off just to bust me? 428 00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:01,970 I took the day off 429 00:20:01,971 --> 00:20:05,275 so I could go swimming with my bad, bad wife. 430 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,579 I am gonna go get my trunks. 431 00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:12,341 Oh, no, you don't. 432 00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:13,613 Bad boys don't wear trunks... 433 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,618 If you know what I'm saying. 434 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,251 Of course I do. 435 00:20:21,991 --> 00:20:23,293 Naked, right? 436 00:20:24,854 --> 00:20:26,256 Yes, Jim. Oh, yeah! 437 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,462 (GROWLS) (LAUGHS) 438 00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:36,965 I'm a love shark, and I see a sexy surfer. 439 00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:38,567 I hope he doesn't get me. 440 00:20:38,568 --> 00:20:40,569 Oh, I'll get you. 441 00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:42,442 Come here, come here. 442 00:20:47,817 --> 00:20:49,279 I got you. 443 00:20:54,424 --> 00:20:55,485 Lois. 444 00:20:56,586 --> 00:20:57,786 Butch. 445 00:20:57,787 --> 00:20:58,958 Dutch. Dutch. 446 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,764 So, how was the trip?